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Getting Married Tomorrow

from As You Like It by Shaina Taub

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lyrics

SILVIA:
LOVE IS TREADING WATER
IN A WHIRLPOOL OF YOUR TEARS
AND SO AM I FOR PHOEBE!

PHOEBE:
AND I FOR GANYMEDE!

ORLANDO:
AND I FOR ROSALIND

ROSALIND:
AND I FOR NO WOMAN!

SILVIA:
LOVE IS LETTING CUPID STAB YOU
DAILY WITH HIS SPEARS
AND SO AM I FOR PHOEBE!

PHOEBE:
AND I FOR GANYMEDE!

ORLANDO:
AND I FOR ROSALIND!

ROSALIND:
AND I FOR NO WOMAN!

SILVIA:
LOVE IS GRIPPING ON TO HOPE
SHE'LL REALIZE YOU'RE ALIVE

ORLANDO:
AND KNOWING THAT WITHOUT HER
YOU MAY NOT SURVIVE

SILVIA:
AND SO AM I FOR PHOEBE!

PHOEBE:
AND I FOR GANYMEDE!

ORLANDO:
AND I FOR ROSALIND!

ROSALIND:
AND I FOR NO FEMALE HUMAN!

PHOEBE, SILVIA ORLANDO:
SINCE YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE
HOW CAN YOU BLAME ME FOR LOVING YOU?

ROSALIND:
WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?

ORLANDO:
TO HER THAT ISN'T HERE AND DOESN'T HEAR ME

PHOEBE, SILVIA ORLANDO:
SINCE YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE
HOW CAN YOU BLAME ME FOR LOVING YOU LIKE I DO?
I DO
I DO
I DO
I DO
I DO
I DO
I -

ROSALIND:
STOP!
I WILL HELP YOU IF I CAN
SO LISTEN UP, HERE’S THE PLAN:

[To PHOEBE]

IF I EVER HAVE A WIFE, SHE’LL BE YOU
AND I’M GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW

[To SILVIA]

IF SHE’S YOUR WISH, I’LL GRANT THAT TOO
AND YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW

[To ORLANDO]

IF I EVER SATISFY A MAN, I’LL MAKE YOU GET YOUR WAY
SO MEET ME HERE IN THE MORNING
FOR YOUR WEDDING DAY

ORLANDO:
I’M GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW?

SILVIA & PHOEBE:
I’M GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW?

PHOEBE:
BUT—

ROSALIND:
DON’T ASK QUESTIONS, GIRL — JUST TRUST!

SILVIA, PHOEBE, ROSALIND, ORLANDO:
I’M GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW!

[The other lovers join in.]

CELIA & OLIVER:
I’M GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW!

ANDY & TOUCHSTONE:
I’M GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW!

JAQUES:
Spoiler alert! It’s a happy ending.

ROSALIND, ORLANDO, SILVIA, PHOEBE, CELIA, OLIVER, ANDY, TOUCHSTONE:
WE’RE ALL GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW!

[Meanwhile, back at the court, we see DUKE FREDERICK and his ROYAL MINIONS.]

A ROYAL MINION:
Your Dukeness, we’ve just received news from Arden!

A ROYAL MINION:
YOUR DAUGHTER’S GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW!

A ROYAL MINION:
YOUR NIECE IS GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW!

A ROYAL MINION:
TO THE SONS OF SIR ROWLAND DE BOYS!

ALL ROYAL MINIONS:
THEY’RE ALL GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW!

DUKE FREDERICK:
I will address a mighty power, and on foot, will take my brother in Arden, and put him to the sword!!

ALL ROYAL MINIONS:
Yes, Your Dukeness!

DUKE FREDERICK:
NO ONE’S GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW!
NO ONE’S GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW!
MOUNT YOUR HORSES, MEN — LET’S GO!
CAUSE NO ONE’S GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW!

ROSALIND:
Alright, everyone, we’ve gotta plan a quadruple wedding in under two minutes. Let’s move, people!

[The ARDENITES enter, making frantic preparations for the weddings.]

ALL:
I’M GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW!
I’M GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW!

TOUCHSTONE:
GET ME TO THE CHURCH ON TIME!

ALL:
I’M GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW!
I’M GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW!
I’M GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW!

WHO’S GETTING MARRIED?
I’M GETTING MARRIED
I’M GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW!
I’M GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW!
I’M GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW!

ROSALIND:
MEET ME HERE AT DAWN.
NOW GO ON, GET GONE!

ALL:
I’M GETTING MARRIED
I’M GETTING MARRIED
I’M GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW!

credits

from As You Like It, released December 15, 2017

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Shaina Taub Brooklyn, New York

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