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Feste's Secret

from Twelfth Night by Shaina Taub

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lyrics

FESTE:
DO, DO, DO YOU WANNA HEAR A SECRET?
YOU WANNA HEAR A SECRET?
NO ONE ELSE CAN KNOW THIS
SO DON’T LEAK IT TO THE PRESS
CAUSE IT WOULD SORT OF UNDO
OUR HEROINE’S WHOLE RUSE
AND I DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU
BUT I’M SERIOUSLY ROOTING FOR THAT GIRL
SO, REMEMBER HER BROTHER WHO DROWNED IN THAT SHIPWRECK?
WELL, LITTLE DOES SHE SUSPECT

(Viola’s identical twin, SEBASTIAN enters, dressed exactly like Viola/Cesario.)

HE’S ACTUALLY STILL ALIVE AND WELL
AND WALKING THE STREETS OF ILLYRIA!

(ANTONIO enters)

YOU SEE, THIS FRIENDLY PIRATE CALLED ANTONIO
SAVED HIM FROM THE SINKING BOAT
AND NURSED HIM BACK TO HEALTH THESE LAST FEW WEEKS
PUT THE GLOW BACK IN HIS CHEEKS
AND HIS NAME IS SEBASTIAN

(VIOLA crosses, in her own moment. The two are unaware of each other.)

FESTE & VIOLA:
SEBASTIAN

FESTE:
POOR BROTHER & SISTER
THEY BOTH THINK THE OTHER ONE’S DEAD
GUESS I COULD JUST TELL THEM
BUT THEN THE PLAY WOULD BE PREEMPTIVELY ENDED
AND THAT WOULD BE A HUGE BUMMER
CAUSE WE’VE BEEN REHEARSING ALL SUMMER
AND THERE’S STILL GREAT STUFF TO COME
SO LET’S STAY MUM AND KEEP THE SECRET
OH, AND DON’T FORGET
SEBASTIAN IS HER IDENTICAL TWIN

(VIOLA and SEBASTIAN freeze, inches from each other.)
(They look nothing alike.)

CLOSE ENOUGH!

credits

from Twelfth Night, released December 2, 2016
Music & Lyrics by Shaina Taub
Rhodes & Vocals by Shaina Taub

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Shaina Taub Brooklyn, New York

www.shainataub.com

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